Marriage is tough. The stresses of work, finances, and raising kids can cause couples to become emotionally disconnected. When that happens, it becomes easier to fall into the marriage affair trap. The most recent studies on marriage have discovered that 30% of men and 20% of women have been unfaithful. These statistics are not very encouraging, but men can take steps to protect their marriage from infidelity. If you commit to doing the following 8 things, you can protect your marriage and prevent and affair.
It’s important to maintain intimacy in a marriage. Being affectionate is great way to remain connected to your spouse. Hold hands, kiss, hug, and share quiet moments together. Express your love for your spouse through your words and actions. Saying, “I love you” is just as important as giving your spouse an intimate kiss. It’s the small, daily love gestures that make a difference in a relationship.
One reason why people have extra-martial affairs is because they feel neglected and unappreciated. Prevent these feelings from developing by showing your spouse the appreciation she deserves. Let her know how important she is to you. Tell her how much you admire her. Say please and thank you. Encourage your spouse and compliment her regularly. Most of all, demonstrate kindness on a daily basis. If you’re feeling under-appreciated, discuss your feelings with your wife and deal with them together.
Speak Your Wife’s Love Language
If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts,” I highly recommend it. You will learn how to identify your wife’s love language and use this information to make your marriage stronger. The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation; Acts of Service; Receiving Gifts; Quality Time; and Physical Touch. Speaking wife’s love language will draw you closer and help you to increase intimacy and trust.
Avoid Risky Situations
Many relationships have been destroyed by Facebook and other social media sites. It’s okay to look up exes, but rekindling those old flames can be risky. Don’t share intimate details about your marriage with your exes and avoid situations where you are alone with members of the opposite sex. What starts out as an innocent conversation or a simple meal together can lead to infidelity if you are experiencing problems in your marriage. Having opposite sex friends is fine, but make sure that your spouse knows who they and is also friends with them. If any of your friendships make your spouse uncomfortable, it’s better to end the friendship than cause friction in your marriage.
Men need close friends in their lives who they trust. Seek out a buddy who you can be open and honest with and have regular conversations about the state your marriage, your temptations, and your emotional well-being. Your accountability partner can help you sort through these issues and give you frank, objective advice.
Communicate Your Feelings
One of the best ways to prevent infidelity in marriage is to talk about your feelings. Many problems can be resolved by having an open, honest conversation with your spouse. Problems arise when couples hold in their feelings and refuse to share them with their spouses. Marriage is a safe place to discuss the intimate details of your life with someone who cares.
Maintain a Regular Sexual Routine
Experts in the field of human sexuality recommend married couples have sex 2-3 times per week to maintain intimacy. However, each couple must develop a frequency schedule that works for them. Talk about your desires, fantasies, and needs. Don’t neglect this important part of your marriage.
Many men avoid counseling because they are used to fixing problems on their own. But sometimes you need an impartial voice to help you gain perspective. If you feel the desire to stray from your marriage, you should seek counseling immediately. A professional counselor can help you can your spouse deal with marital problems and develop solutions to fix them.
Although these 8 suggestions are not fail proof, they will give you the tools you need to protect your marriage and prevent an affair.
photo by Roger Kirby